So many things I could write about today.
My friend (and fellow yoga student) Chloe reminded me this morning though of something, which speaks to so many of us and has certainly to me. ‘Am I good enough to do this?’ Thank you Chloe. Chloe is a very talented potter and has just launched her new website and online shop. Do take a look, she has beautiful work and her website looks great. This picture is one of her ‘mistakes’ and I love this bowl all the more for it.
I can’t write about pottery, but I can write about being good enough as it has haunted me over the years. One of my favourite authors Brene Brown wrote a whole book on it ‘The Gift of Imperfection’. I have recommended it many times. She talks about our culture of ‘not enough’. Waking in the morning when our first thought might be ‘I didn’t have enough sleep.’ And of course there are many more. I never have enough time. Did I do well enough in that piece of work? Am I thin enough, young enough, strong enough and one of my favourites flexible enough? How many times have people said ‘I’d love to do yoga but I’m not flexible enough’ arghhhhhh! 😉 Can I care enough? Provide enough? Be happy enough?
So what’s the answer? I share my learnings with the hope that they are enough to help at least one person reading this. We are enough simply because we exist. We are not defined by a single moment. The reality of being human is surely to live authentically, to make mistakes, to be vulnerable, to succeed and fail and find an acceptance in that. Brene states that authenticity is a practice and I have learnt and continue to learn that in order to feel true joy, I have to also feel alot of discomfort. Life seems to be a world of polarities, always. One older neighbour told me ‘your generation, you spend way too much time naval gazing and not enough time doing’. I beg to differ. We live with the significant pressure of social media, fake news, constant comparison and so on. It’s a different time and perhaps if there was more reflecting, more ‘being’ then what we consciously, mindfully, choose to do might create a better world for us all.
My ex-husband told me I wasn’t creative enough. I’m not still bitter about it, honest?! I design yoga classes, development workshops, I move creatively, I write poems from time to time, I garden, I sew and so on. Hmm… I had a very recent experience of not feeling enough. About three weeks ago, I knew I’d not taught a class well at all. Thank you for your patience Tuesday evening folks! I didn’t sleep, I felt bad, I had let myself down. Did anyone notice? Maybe, maybe not. I was exhausted, trying out new things, it didn’t quite go as I had planned. I spoke to my sister, my wise, wise sister and she reminded me, ‘Emma, sometimes just to show up is enough’. Thank you beautiful Lisa. Yes.
If we can wake each day with the knowing that ‘not enough’ is a self-fulfilling prophecy. With the ability to look in the mirror and say ‘I am good enough today’ then whilst it might sound a bit woowoo as they say, it’s a start.
I hope you can show up to yourself and know that you are enough today. One thing 2020 has taught us, is that life is precious and I for one, don’t want to waste one more day not feeling good enough to do what I know, makes my heart sing. To get on my mat, to practice what feels right, to live my own precious life.